We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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