Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
