you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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