At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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