Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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