Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
