I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
