some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
