Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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