Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
