I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
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