She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
