I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
