Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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