Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
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So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
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I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.