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• (734): View more from Michigan

  hey call me

  (810): View more from Michigan

  can't. in the shower.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  ... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  her nose should be used as a dorsal fin

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• (210): View more from Texas

  By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.

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• (408): View more from California

  I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (941): View more from Florida

  im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went

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• (646): View more from New York

  i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.

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