Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA http://tfl.nu/d77g
  Replies (14) Good night (4631) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this." http://tfl.nu/rnir
  Replies (45) Good night (863) Bad night (6415)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles? http://tfl.nu/1dpq
  Replies (12) Good night (1248) Bad night (4120) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis. http://tfl.nu/rix3
  Replies (17) Good night (5008) Bad night (1024) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store http://tfl.nu/b87c
  Replies (8) Good night (4540) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know.. http://tfl.nu/03rh
  Replies (8) Good night (3834) Bad night (823) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today" http://tfl.nu/6cpx
  Replies (30) Good night (1344) Bad night (7377) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us

  (847): View more from Illinois

  You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us (847): You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high. http://tfl.nu/59an
  Replies (6) Good night (2636) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Thanks, mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection! (1-513): Thanks, mom. http://tfl.nu/k49b
  Replies (17) Good night (3908) Bad night (1079) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA http://tfl.nu/iogl
  Replies (14) Good night (2085) Bad night (1049) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude. http://tfl.nu/kuta
  Replies (6) Good night (2106) Bad night (604) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime. http://tfl.nu/y0wv
  Replies (8) Good night (2014) Bad night (849) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs http://tfl.nu/6o6j
  Replies (7) Good night (1961) Bad night (572) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide." http://tfl.nu/7grl
  Replies (31) Good night (2555) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  That's better than I've done so far.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today. (1-440): That's better than I've done so far. http://tfl.nu/4hrm
  Replies (0) Good night (1007) Bad night (392)

Randomize