So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
