Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
