Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
