I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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