whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
