Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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