i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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