K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
