Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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