You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
