i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
