We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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