Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
