Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Randomize
