I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
