I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
