Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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