The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
40s are totally the cure
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.