I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize