So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize