What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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