I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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