She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
