Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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