I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
