so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize