I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
