he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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