Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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