i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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