Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
