It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
