Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
