I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
