I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Even my vagina gasped.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
