Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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