i'm signing you up for texting rehab
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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