You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
