It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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