It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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