So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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