I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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