i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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