I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
