Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
