Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
